You've been asked to be the best man. Congratulations — and condolences. Because now you have to stand up in front of everyone the groom has ever known and somehow be funny, touching, and coherent. All at once.
Don't worry. We've helped thousands of best men nail their speeches, and we're going to break down exactly how to do it.
The Best Man Speech Structure That Works Every Time
Forget everything you've read about "starting with a quote." Here's the structure that actually lands:
- The Hook — Open with something that gets attention. A joke, a surprising statement, a quick story.
- How You Know the Groom — Establish your credibility. Are you childhood friends? College roommates? Brothers?
- A Story That Shows Who He Is — Not just any story. One that reveals his character in a way that makes people smile.
- The Roast (Optional but Effective) — Light, affectionate teasing. Nothing that makes the bride's grandmother uncomfortable.
- The Pivot to Heart — This is where you shift from funny to sincere. Talk about how you've seen him change, grow, or light up since meeting his partner.
- The Toast — End with a genuine wish for the couple and raise your glass.
Best Man Speech Example: The Funny One
Ladies and gentlemen, for those of you who don't know me, I'm Jake's best man. And for those of you who do know me — I'm sorry about that bachelor party.
I've known Jake for 22 years. We grew up on the same street, went to the same school, and somehow both survived that "camping trip" in 2015 where Jake swore he knew how to start a fire without matches. He did not.
But here's the thing about Jake — he never gives up. Even when he should. Which is how he ended up asking Sarah out four times before she said yes. [pause] Fourth time's the charm, apparently.
Sarah, when I look at the two of you together, I see my best friend at his absolute best. You brought out a side of him I didn't know existed — the side that remembers birthdays, plans date nights, and somehow keeps a plant alive.
So please raise your glasses. To Jake and Sarah — may your love be as persistent as Jake's pursuit of it. [raise glass] Cheers!
Best Man Speech Example: The Heartfelt One
Good evening, everyone. I'm Marcus, and I've had the privilege of being Jake's best friend for over 20 years. Standing up here today, I keep thinking about a phone call I got three years ago.
Jake called me on a Tuesday — not even a weekend — just to tell me he'd met someone. "Marcus," he said, "I think this one's different." I've known Jake through a lot of "different" — but the thing is, he was right.
I watched my best friend become the best version of himself. Not because Sarah changed him, but because she made him want to change. The guy who lived on pizza and video games started cooking dinner for two. The guy who never made plans started building a future.
Jake, you've been the most loyal, generous, and genuinely good person in my life. And Sarah — thank you for seeing what I've always seen in him.
To the happy couple. [raise glass]
Not sure about the right length? Our guide on how long a best man speech should be breaks down the ideal word count and timing. And if you want a fill-in-the-blank starting point, check out our best man speech template.
Tips for Delivery
- Keep it under 4 minutes. No one has ever complained about a speech being too short.
- Practice out loud. It sounds different from how it reads.
- Mark your pauses. Write [pause] where you want to let a joke or moment land.
- Look at the couple. Not at your notes the whole time.
- Have water nearby. Your mouth will be dry.
Don't Want to Start From Scratch?
Our speech builder asks you 5-6 questions about the groom, and generates 3 personalized speeches — a funny version, a heartfelt version, and a short one — each with delivery notes built in. You preview it free and only pay if you love it.