Short answer: 3 to 5 minutes. That's the sweet spot. Long enough to say something meaningful, short enough that nobody starts checking their phone.
If you remember nothing else from this post, remember this: no one has ever complained about a wedding speech being too short. Ever.
The Word Count Breakdown
Speaking pace varies, but most people talk at about 130-150 words per minute during a speech. Here's what that looks like:
- 2 minutes = ~250-300 words (very short — more of a toast)
- 3 minutes = ~400-450 words (tight and punchy — works great)
- 4 minutes = ~500-600 words (the ideal range for most best man speeches)
- 5 minutes = ~650-750 words (the upper limit — only if every word earns its spot)
- 7+ minutes = too long. Cut it.
The target for most best men: 400-600 words. That gives you room for one story, one sincere moment, and a toast. That's all you need.
Need to see what this looks like in practice? Check out our best man speech examples — each one falls right in this range.
What Happens If You Go Too Long
Here's the truth nobody tells you: the audience checks out around minute 5. It doesn't matter how good your speech is. Wedding guests are tired, hungry, and probably on their third drink. Their attention has a ceiling.
When you go too long:
- Jokes stop landing. The energy in the room fades and your timing suffers.
- The emotional parts lose impact. If you've been talking for 7 minutes, the sincere ending feels like relief, not a moment.
- You start rambling. Long speeches almost always have sections that don't need to be there.
- The couple gets anxious. They're watching the schedule fall apart in real time.
Cut the story that's "pretty good." Keep the one that's great.
What Happens If You Go Too Short
Going too short is almost always better than going too long. But if you clock in under 90 seconds, it can feel rushed — like you didn't put in the effort.
The fix: make sure you have at least one real story and at least one genuine compliment for the couple. If you have those two things, even a two-minute speech will feel complete.
How to Time Yourself
Here's a simple method that works:
- Write your speech out fully. Don't bullet-point it. Write it like you'd say it.
- Open a timer on your phone.
- Read it out loud at your normal talking pace. Not fast. Not slow. The way you'd actually deliver it.
- Add 15-20%. You'll speak slower on the day because of nerves, pauses, and laughter. A speech that takes 3 minutes at home will take about 3:30-4:00 at the wedding.
Do this at least twice. Time it both times. Use the average.
Pacing Tips
Timing isn't just about total length — it's about how you move through the speech. A well-paced speech feels shorter than it is. A poorly paced one feels endless.
- Front-load the funny stuff. People are loose and ready to laugh at the beginning. Save the sincere stuff for the end.
- One story, not three. You don't need to cover your entire friendship. Pick the best story and tell it well.
- Use pauses. A two-second pause after a joke or emotional line does more than another sentence. Mark [pause] in your notes so you don't forget.
- Don't rush the toast. The ending should feel deliberate. Slow down, look at the couple, raise your glass.
- Cut your intro short. "I'm [name], the best man" is enough. You don't need to explain how you met the groom in the intro — that's what the story is for.
If you want a structure to follow, our best man speech template breaks the whole thing down section by section.
The One-Minute Rule
If you're editing your speech and wondering whether a section should stay or go, ask yourself: "Would the speech still work without this?" If the answer is yes, cut it.
Every sentence should either make people laugh, make people feel something, or move the speech forward. If it doesn't do one of those three things, it's filler.
Ready to Write Yours?
Our speech builder generates a best man speech in the ideal 3-5 minute range — complete with delivery cues, pacing notes, and three versions to choose from. You answer a few questions, we handle the rest.
Free to preview. You only pay if it's right.